I never thought I’d get infected with the yellow fever, until I did.
I was never interested in Asians and always dated Westerners. It never even occurred to me that Asian males would find white females attractive. Then I caught the Asian fever and learnt that Asian boys do like white girls.
While I was travelling in South East Asia last year, suddenly everywhere I looked, I saw Asian men; wherever I went, I met Asian men. This whetted my appetite and I became curious – I wanted to find out what it’s like to date one. I decided to do an experiment.
I downloaded tinder with the aim to date Asian men only. I would swipe right for an Asian man and left for a Western man. I met seven Asian guys in total trough tinder in a space of three months: two in Kuala Lumpur (KL), one in Sydney and four in Ho Chi Minh. I tinder-talked with a few more, but only one is worth mentioning. To complete the picture of my experiment, I have also decided to include a guy I met through mutual friends in the results.
I met the following tinder and non-tinder guys, in this particular order:
The player (¼ Chinese / ¾ Malay Malaysian)
I matched with the player while travelling in KL. He was Malaysian but spent most of his childhood and teenage years living and studying overseas. He was a great date. Short and not particularly good-looking, he was witty and charming. He always said the right words and took me to the right places. He was trying to impress. I really liked this guy; in my head we were already engaged and living together.
We exchanged a few messages afterwards and left it at that. I think we both realised that none of us was going to get what we wanted: me getting engaged to him, him getting into my knickers.
The bore (Taiwanese Ozzie)
We matched while I was visiting friends in Sydney. He wasn’t interesting or charming and he wasn’t my “type”. He seemed interesting, charming and good-looking enough after three glasses of wine and I agreed to hang out with him again.
We met a couple of more times and the morning of my flight back to South East Asia, he sent me a rather wordy message expressing his romantic feelings towards me – bless him. I would hear from him now and then and oh, man, he could be full of himself.
We met again as friends a couple of weeks ago in Singapore. That’s when I realised that apart from drinking, we had absolutely nothing else in common. He was the stereotype of your typical Asian guy – materialistic, narrow-thinking and boring. I don’t think we’ll be hearing from each other again any time soon.
The “white girl” obsessed one (Malay Malaysian)
Once back to KL from my Sydney trip, I got a match with a guy who just returned back to KL after spending a few years studying and working in the US. He was super thrilled that I agreed to have a date with him and drove two hours to the city to meet me. Out of too much excitement or due to the lack of confidence, he asked his friend to join us too after we’d met, either to “witness” our date or to provide emotional support. I didn’t quite work it out.
So I got to have a date with two guys – whoop whoop. And they couldn’t believe their luck – they were out with a white girl. Malay boys never go out with white girls in KL. “Desperate” to be seen hanging out with a white girl amongst the rich of KL, they invited me to a party at an expensive rooftop bar the following night. “Please, come. We’ll pay for all your drinks.”
I was off to Vietnam the next day and never saw them again. I wonder whether they’ve been able to get another white tinder girl to agree to a night out with them at the rooftop bar.
The weirdo (Malay Malaysian)
After getting a match with this guy, we exchanged a few messages. I never agreed to meet him as he sounded like a complete weirdo. He assumed that because I am blonde I must be a cheap bimbo. I stopped responding ages ago but to date he sends random messages to me. It seems like he enjoys texting without getting responses.
The stalker (Vietnamese)
I first met the stalker at a bar in a backpacker’s area in Ho Chi Minh while travelling in Vietnam. He approached me and we chatted for a while before I decided to call it a night. After I’d moved to Ho Chi Minh a month later, we matched on tinder. We agreed to meet. He picked me up on his motorbike from my work function and took me to great bars. He was nice and I thought I’d found myself a new friend.
He thought different. He refused to believe that I didn’t desire him or accept the fact I’d want to meet him through tinder as a friend only. Tinder is for dating he’d insist. He believed that we were officially dating and therefore we must become lovers. He thought I was his fate. Then the “bombarding” started – he would “attack” me with over twenty calls and messages on a daily basis. I broke his heart – I blocked him from my phone.
The successful entrepreneur (Japanese)
We matched on tinder the first week I moved to Ho Chi Minh. A typical Japanese, he was very polite and reserved. I really couldn’t work out whether he liked me or not.
We’d had a few more dates before he took off for pastures new. Being a successful entrepreneur and due to the nature of his business, he never sticks around in one place for more than a week.
We keep in touch and hang out occasionally when he is in Saigon for business. He is quite cool and I enjoy his company. Definitely a keeper for someone ten years my junior who is looking for a long-distance fun bohemian-style relationship. Unfortunately, I am ten years too old for such boyfriend material.
The hot Viet Kieu (American born Vietnamese)
We met through friends at a party. I thought “wow, he is super-hot” – tall, well-built and he spoke English … tick-tick. A bit nerdy too, which I like. We’ve never been on a date but we occasionally see each other on nights out as we have mutual friends. We seem poles apart and I doubt we would get along well romantically.
The dull sweetheart (Vietnamese Ozzie)
Originally from Ho Chi Minh, he was visiting his parents back in his home city for Christmas. Once we matched, we started chatting. He knew how to talk and he was entertaining. It turned out that it was only his typing skills that were excellent. Face to face, his ability to talk was inferior while his entertaining skills were entry-level.
The next day he went the trouble to go on a mission to search for dry shampoo for me in the entire city of Ho Chi Minh (dry shampoo is a rarity in Vietnam). He was a sweetheart, a dull sweetheart.
The emotionally unavailable (American born Chinese)
He was my last tinder date. We matched around Christmas time and agreed to meet in a nice bar in Ho Chi Minh on the New Year’s Day. After we’d met, we didn’t part until the following month. We ate breakfast together, we lunched together, we had dinner together. We drank coffee together, we worked out at the gym together, we boozed together. We travelled together. We lived in each other’s pockets.
My last tinder date became my first Asian boyfriend. It turned out that while I was planning a wedding in my head, he was emotionally unavailable. We broke up.
While the dating experiment was fun and I met some interesting men and also my ex boyfriend, I think I am done with dating (Asian) guys online. Although I still have tinder on my phone, I don’t use it anymore.
I must say that I was pleasantly surprised how great tinder dating was. I’ve never been a fan of online dating and I didn’t think very highly of tinder. I tried it and I liked it.
I am on the singles market again, available to date. However, meeting an interesting man in Vietnam is like trying to find a needle in haystack. So instead, I stay at home and write blogs over a cup of tea or a glass of wine.
Finally, I still find Asian men attractive and wouldn’t look at a Western guy twice. Maybe I’ll be able to”recover” from the yellow fever one day and will start giving Western men a second look. Any takers?