Tips for Asian guys trying to match with Western girls on Tinder

I am back on Tinder. I find it is a great tool for meeting new people; people that I wouldn’t otherwise meet as they are outside of my circle of friends.
While playing the “yes or no” game, I notice a lot of Asian guys have their narratives in English. To me that’s a sign that they are interested in “matching” with a Western girl. However, their photos and the content of their narratives often suggest the opposite.

I gather that being “cute” is attractive in Asia. My Korean and Japanese female friends prefer what I would define as “feminine girly looking boys”. When I point out at a handsome muscular well-built Asian guy I like, they just turn their heads with an expression that could potentially be considered “dislike”?

The take-away message for your Asian guys who want to attract a Western girl on Tinder is this: As a rule of thumb, what an Asian girl finds attractive in a man, a Western girl finds unattractive. The following will guarantee a 100% left-swipe:

1. Photos of you cuddling with pets. If you are trying to send a message across that you like pets, then include a nice photo with one, but please don’t cuddle with it in the photo. You are not five years old.

2. Photos of your six packs, especially those taken at the gym. I understand that you are proud of your guns and other muscly parts on your body and are trying to show off. There is nothing wrong with that, but please do it in a less obvious fashion. A selfie will just lead to a left-swipe I am afraid. A photo of you and your friends at the beach or a photo of you sailing or pursuing other water-sport activities while looking super-fit and hot will definitely do you more favour. I guarantee that will be a right-swipe – at least from me.

3. Mirror and other phone selfies in general. Please don’t – they look ridiculous.

4. Photos of you eating food, especially those in which you are stuffing your face with an extra-large burger. Yeah, I really am not interested to see how big a burger you can eat or how large your mouth is. I definitely don’t want to see the food stuck between your teeth either.

5. Photos of you being completely wasted. What are you trying to achieve by this one? That you can (or rather can’t) drink? In general, Westerners are able to handle (and digest) more alcohol anyway but it’s not something we are proud of or want to boast about. By the way, drinking is not a competition.

6. Photos of your “assets”. We are living in a superficial world but most Western girls (unless they are gold diggers) are first interested in you as a person. It’s the personality, hobbies, etc. that make you desirable. If you are trying to impress us by your success or other achievements, you may include a more professional photo (not a phone selfie!) from a work function or conference.

7. Dull uninteresting photos, especially if they don’t even show your face. Once again, what’s the point of these? Instead include a photo from your travels (so that we know that you are well-travelled), with your friends (so that we know that you have friends) or doing fun activities (so that we know that you are fun).

8. Wearing sunglasses in all photos. We can’t tell how amazing your personality is through Tinder – yes, we are shallow on Tinder. We want to see your eyes and your face!

9. Photos with a female. Is she your girlfriend, wife or just a female friend? We don’t know. That’s a left-swipe – sorry!

10. Photos with kids. Unless you tell us explicitly in the narrative that that’s your nephew or niece, we will assume the kid is yours – are you married as well? Photos with kids are great – they imply that you like them and that you’ll be great dads of our halfie babies one day. Narrative is required though!

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Why I love (and care about) Asian men

Fact: I never cared about black men, I never cared about Indian or Latino men either. I didn’t care about Asian men.

I never found black men attractive. I did fancy Indian men for a while in my life but never actually dated one. I did have a Latino boyfriend a couple of years ago but he didn’t change my perception on them – I still don’t fancy Latino men, I still don’t care.

Then I got the yellow fever. I am trying to think when exactly I got infected. I think deep down I always found Asian men attractive but I didn’t care and would never approach them – you know why, you hear stories about their boring personalities, about their materialism, about their … “tools”. Finally, I also thought that they wouldn’t find white Western girls attractive or that they would be just too shy to approach me because “white girls don’t date Asian guys”.

Then I started dating them and I started to care. Now, I only like Asian guys and this is why:

  • They have hair at the right places. It’s hard to see hair at the right places on Western men. Western guys usually have hair all over their body but not where it’s supposed to be. Asian men have pretty awesome hair where it’s supposed to be and they let you touch it. Hands up – if you are a female – how many times have you heard “don’t” when trying to touch your Western boyfriend’s hair (well, if they still have any left on their heads)?
  • They have amazing smooth skin. You want to cuddle with them all the time. You want to kiss their face too. The stubble on Western men just irritates your skin.
  • They are super hot. I’ve read countless articles about how a lot of women (including Asian women living in certain Western countries) don’t find Asian guys attractive, how “ugly” they find them. I believe that these women are either blind or have been brainwashed in those countries by the “white supremacy”.
  • They don’t mind carrying your handbag. Whenever I’d ask my Western exes to carry or hold my bag for a second, the answer would be the same: “no, I am not gay”.
  • Sex is pretty awesome. Somehow, they know what to do with their “tool”.
  • They are perceived as “nerdy” or “good with computers”. I don’t see anything wrong with that. Better nerdy than stupid!
  • They all want to have children. I have a lot of female friends wanting children while their husbands or boyfriends don’t. All Asian guys I’ve met want babies.

 

 

 

 

A blonde girl’s experiment of dating Asian guys

Introduction

I never thought I’d get infected with the yellow fever, until I did.

I was never interested in Asians and always dated Westerners. It never even occurred to me that Asian males would find white females attractive. Then I caught the Asian fever and learnt that Asian boys do like white girls.

While I was travelling in South East Asia last year, suddenly everywhere I looked, I saw Asian men; wherever I went, I met Asian men.  This whetted my appetite and I became curious – I wanted to find out what it’s like to date one. I decided to do an experiment.

Methods

I downloaded tinder with the aim to date Asian men only. I would swipe right for an Asian man and left for a Western man. I met seven Asian guys in total trough tinder in a space of three months: two in Kuala Lumpur (KL), one in Sydney and four in Ho Chi Minh. I tinder-talked with a few more, but only one is worth mentioning. To complete the picture of my experiment, I have also decided to include a guy I met through mutual friends in the results.

Results

I met the following tinder and non-tinder guys, in this particular order:

The player (¼ Chinese / ¾ Malay Malaysian)

I matched with the player while travelling in KL. He was Malaysian but spent most of his childhood and teenage years living and studying overseas. He was a great date. Short and not particularly good-looking, he was witty and charming. He always said the right words and took me to the right places. He was trying to impress. I really liked this guy; in my head we were already engaged and living together.

We exchanged a few messages afterwards and left it at that. I think we both realised that none of us was going to get what we wanted: me getting engaged to him, him getting into my knickers.

 The bore (Taiwanese Ozzie)

We matched while I was visiting friends in Sydney. He wasn’t interesting or charming and he wasn’t my “type”. He seemed interesting, charming and good-looking enough after three glasses of wine and I agreed to hang out with him again.

We met a couple of more times and the morning of my flight back to South East Asia, he sent me a rather wordy message expressing his romantic feelings towards me – bless him. I would hear from him now and then and oh, man, he could be full of himself.

We met again as friends a couple of weeks ago in Singapore. That’s when I realised that apart from drinking, we had absolutely nothing else in common. He was the stereotype of your typical Asian guy – materialistic, narrow-thinking and boring. I don’t think we’ll be hearing from each other again any time soon.

The “white girl” obsessed one (Malay Malaysian)

Once back to KL from my Sydney trip, I got a match with a guy who just returned back to KL after spending a few years studying and working in the US. He was super thrilled that I agreed to have a date with him and drove two hours to the city to meet me. Out of too much excitement or due to the lack of confidence, he asked his friend to join us too after we’d met, either to “witness” our date or to provide emotional support. I didn’t quite work it out.

So I got to have a date with two guys – whoop whoop. And they couldn’t believe their luck – they were out with a white girl. Malay boys never go out with white girls in KL. “Desperate” to be seen hanging out with a white girl amongst the rich of KL, they invited me to a party at an expensive rooftop bar the following night. “Please, come. We’ll pay for all your drinks.”

I was off to Vietnam the next day and never saw them again. I wonder whether they’ve been able to get another white tinder girl to agree to a night out with them at the rooftop bar.

 The weirdo (Malay Malaysian)

After getting a match with this guy, we exchanged a few messages. I never agreed to meet him as he sounded like a complete weirdo. He assumed that because I am blonde I must be a cheap bimbo. I stopped responding ages ago but to date he sends random messages to me. It seems like he enjoys texting without getting responses.

The stalker (Vietnamese)

I first met the stalker at a bar in a backpacker’s area in Ho Chi Minh while travelling in Vietnam. He approached me and we chatted for a while before I decided to call it a night. After I’d moved to Ho Chi Minh a month later, we matched on tinder. We agreed to meet. He picked me up on his motorbike from my work function and took me to great bars. He was nice and I thought I’d found myself a new friend.

He thought different. He refused to believe that I didn’t desire him or accept the fact I’d want to meet him through tinder as a friend only. Tinder is for dating he’d insist. He believed that we were officially dating and therefore we must become lovers. He thought I was his fate. Then the “bombarding” started – he would “attack” me with over twenty calls and messages on a daily basis. I broke his heart – I blocked him from my phone.

 The successful entrepreneur (Japanese)

We matched on tinder the first week I moved to Ho Chi Minh. A typical Japanese, he was very polite and reserved. I really couldn’t work out whether he liked me or not.

We’d had a few more dates before he took off for pastures new. Being a successful entrepreneur and due to the nature of his business, he never sticks around in one place for more than a week.

We keep in touch and hang out occasionally when he is in Saigon for business. He is quite cool and I enjoy his company. Definitely a keeper for someone ten years my junior who is looking for a long-distance fun bohemian-style relationship.  Unfortunately, I am ten years too old for such boyfriend material.

The hot Viet Kieu (American born Vietnamese)

We met through friends at a party. I thought “wow, he is super-hot” – tall, well-built and he spoke English … tick-tick. A bit nerdy too, which I like. We’ve never been on a date but we occasionally see each other on nights out as we have mutual friends. We seem poles apart and I doubt we would get along well romantically.

 The dull sweetheart (Vietnamese Ozzie)

Originally from Ho Chi Minh, he was visiting his parents back in his home city for Christmas. Once we matched, we started chatting. He knew how to talk and he was entertaining. It turned out that it was only his typing skills that were excellent. Face to face, his ability to talk was inferior while his entertaining skills were entry-level.

The next day he went the trouble to go on a mission to search for dry shampoo for me in the entire city of Ho Chi Minh (dry shampoo is a rarity in Vietnam). He was a sweetheart, a dull sweetheart.

 The emotionally unavailable (American born Chinese)

He was my last tinder date. We matched around Christmas time and agreed to meet in a nice bar in Ho Chi Minh on the New Year’s Day. After we’d met, we didn’t part until the following month. We ate breakfast together, we lunched together, we had dinner together. We drank coffee together, we worked out at the gym together, we boozed together. We travelled together. We lived in each other’s pockets.

My last tinder date became my first Asian boyfriend. It turned out that while I was planning a wedding in my head, he was emotionally unavailable. We broke up.

Conclusion

While the dating experiment was fun and I met some interesting men and also my ex boyfriend, I think I am done with dating (Asian) guys online. Although I still have tinder on my phone, I don’t use it anymore.

I must say that I was pleasantly surprised how great tinder dating was. I’ve never been a fan of online dating and I didn’t think very highly of tinder. I tried it and I liked it.

I am on the singles market again, available to date. However, meeting an interesting man in Vietnam is like trying to find a needle in haystack. So instead, I stay at home and write blogs over a cup of tea or a glass of wine.

Finally, I still find Asian men attractive and wouldn’t look at a Western guy twice. Maybe I’ll be able to”recover” from the yellow fever one day and will start giving Western men a second look. Any takers?