Why Toronto deserves a medal for the most unexciting city in the world – literally

“If you think Toronto is boring, then you are boring.” This comment can only come out from a mouth of someone who has hardly ever stepped outside of Canada. I’ve lived in a few cities in the world and Toronto leads (from the bottom)…

Let’s examine what else Torontonians say about Toronto.

Toronto is beautiful 

Ehmm. This statement amazes me the most as I can’t figure out whether there is sarcasm here or whether they genuinely find the city beautiful. Toronto in no way is beautiful. A couple of examples would be the highway on the lake front or the mix of old Soviet like looking buildings and new glass skyscraper boxes. On a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is the best, I would score Toronto 2.5; 1 point for just existing and 1.5 for the effort.

To those who believe Toronto is beautiful, I would recommend getting your eyes checked or visiting places like Edinburgh, Rome, Florence or Prague. I recently visited Kiev (the capital of Ukraine) and was absolutely amazed about how interesting and pretty the city was. Toronto is … dull looking. Full stop.

Toronto has great parks

Yes, they are nice. But why would I be excited about them if in Central Europe you have mountains and natural reserves on your doorstep? There are even cycling paths that take you to other countries. A four hour drive from Toronto will take you to a skiing “slope” that in the summer you can hike in under 10 minutes.

Toronto has museums and galleries

Well, the fact is that there are museums and galleries in Toronto. The second fact is that I have actually never been. In London and New York the galleries and museum are magnificent, beautiful and exciting. In other countries the museums are interesting because of the history of the country. What possibly could I find in the museums or galleries here that I haven’t found anywhere else?

Toronto has theatre

So it does. And every other bigger city in the world does too. After London West End, Vienna Opera or Paris Moulin Rouge, what would Toronto theatre scene offer to me that I haven’t seen? Also, why would I pay the extortionate price for a play in Toronto if I can see a West End show for 1/5 of the Toronto price? No brainer…

Toronto is great for sports

Raptors, Maple Leafs, Blue Jays… Barcelona has FC Barcelona while New York has Yankees and Giants. Hint? No-one has ever heard of the Toronto sports clubs while everyone knows those in Barcelona or New York.  Ps: Sorry, I don’t follow sports anyway. I prefer to do sports.

Toronto is multi-cultural

Yes, there are people from all over the world here, yet they don’t really bring much of their culture to Toronto. Toronto, despite so many cultures, lacks personality or diversity (unless you live in a ghetto that is).

Toronto is politically correct

It’s not. Toronto lacks freedom of speech. They refer to such lack of freedom of speech as “political correctness” here. I’ve written about this in my previous blog. People in Toronto are sensitive. If you don’t want to risk offending someone, I’ll give you a tip – don’t talk to them (you won’t miss much anyway). If you do, you may say something they’ll find offensive or they may complain about you being too loud perhaps. It’s happened at my workplace before. People of Toronto – seriously, get a life!!

Toronto has a great night life

Where? I’ve had more fun in Asia in one night than in Toronto in 10 months. Night life here is poor. I don’t even think I want to elaborate on this. It’s bad, boring, too many rules …meh.

Toronto is fun for dating

By dating, Torontonians are referring to online dating (Tinder, Bumble, etc.). That’s where fun dating starts and also ends.

Traditional dating in Toronto is almost non-existent. Guys don’t approach girls and have no clue how to flirt. If they do have a conversation with you, they try to impress you with their jobs (and/or MBAs from universities no one’s heard of). You see, having a job is an achievement in Toronto. As a comparison, in London a guy would try to get into your knickers by talking about their travels, world experiences and the books they’ve read. In New York, on the other hand, it would be a statement about what they do for living in order to imply how much money they are making. In Toronto, men are not well-travelled, world-experienced or well-read, and those that have a job, are not making much money either.

Ok. What about the people in Toronto?

The people in Toronto? The people are just like the city itself – cold, unattractive and uninteresting.

Toronto is great for people from third world countries that come here for a better life and Canadian passport.